Thursday, July 16, 2009

My father

I’ve been thinking about my father a lot lately. Last night, I was kept awake by thoughts of him. These thoughts have been stimulated by a couple of things. I recently finished a book, Fugitive Pieces, by Anne Michaels. It tells the story of a young boy who watches his family get massacred during WWII. My father spent a year in a concentration camp during that war, and stories, movies etc that are set in that era are always difficult for me. I generally avoid them, but didn’t this time.

Another thing that set me down this path is this picture that i saw in Found Magazine. The man in that picture reminds me of my father, not just the way he looks, but the way he sits, the directness of his gaze, he seems to be left handed. It just struck me.

Found magazine has had a number of finds, these days, that seem to be things that people would be sad to have lost. Those photographs, notes from children. It’s sad, the way things get lost, people get forgotten.

I think that is what’s bothering me. I don’t want my father to be forgotten. My own children were young when he died. They have no memory of him being the incredibly vibrant man that he was when I was growing up. I think it’s sad that most of my nieces and nephews didn’t have a close relationship with him, mostly due to distance, I think. My children had the most potential to be close to him, and they were robbed of that by his sickness.

I see parts of my father that have been passed on. Two of my nieces are talented artists, as was my father. Several of them are talented in other ways, musically, creatively. My brothers can all build things without being taught how to do it, they have this instinctive knowledge of the way things go together. My oldest sister has an eye for beauty, and the sister closest to me is a talented artist, as well as having his trust of people. All of us have a love of nature, a love of water, and an appreciation for freedom.

So. I think it's up to me, to find a way to ensure that he's not forgotten. I don't quite know how I'm going to do that. But I will.


John said...

Mon, I hear your thoughts maybe we could have a (thoughts of Dad gathering) and invite the whole crowd. And whoever can,could give thoughts on the memories they have of Dad.

John said...

Oh, and any friends we can locate.

Monica said...

thanks, John. That is a nice idea.

Richard Jesse Watson said...

This is quite moving, Monica. Thank you for this tender post. And thanks for visiting mine. Each generation has treasures that are obscure or unknown to the next. But they come alive with remembrance and nostalgia. I think of my dad, how different his world was from much of mine, and then there was his father before him. Your father's love and passion obviously shines through you. Thank you.

Monica said...

Thank you, Richard, for coming here and reading this. Your comments mean a lot to me. I look for ways to honour my father every day, not necessarily in big ways, but in the way i treat people, and in the way i view the world. I like to think he'd be proud of me. Thank you.